I’m calling this a grief soundtrack. And it’s strange.
This is probably the strangest grief-related soundtrack I could come up with. But it’s all true. Because sometimes grief rears its ugly head at the most unexpected moments. The first time this happened – this overwhelming sense of grief that was sparked from a rather random song – was while I was in the office at work a few weeks after Mom’s funeral. It happened again today, more than a year later. And the songs really have nothing to do with each other. They really have very little to do with Mom, either.
Song #1: Keep the Customer Satisfied by Simon and Garfunkel
I’ve never really associated Simon and Garfunkel with Mom. They’ve always been Dad’s jam, really. Growing up, it was on regular rotation in his car’s tape player. And when we’d come home after along family vacation, we’d beg Dad to play Keep the Customer Satisfied by Simon and Garfunkel.
Those trumpets and those trombones with the drums and those vocals? Oh, man. You’ve just got to turn it up. Because it’s a beautiful thing.
It’s a family favorite, for sure.
I know, I know. The guy singing the song is probably running moonshine or selling drugs or something nefarious like that. I like to pretend that I’m still that naïve boy who thought the song was just about a door-to-door book salesman. So that’s the story we’re going to stick with this time.
There’s even a video that was made of me and Kevin lip syncing to this song in our version of a “Little Nemo” skit, But that was long before the days of digital media. Uncle Don recorded it on an old-school camcorder – the kind you had to hold on your shoulder. I doubt that video still exists. But it was priceless, let me tell you.
Anyway…
I’ve never really associated Simon and Garfunkel with Mom. But when those horns started blaring that day when I was alone in my office? The tears were free-flowing.
Sometimes grief sucker punches you.
Song #2: Pour Some Sugar On Me by Def Leppard
Back in 1988, Def Leppard’s Pour Some Sugar On Me was the Summer Jam. You couldn’t listen to the radio for more than 15 minutes without them playing that song. And I was there for it.
Sweet, innocent, middle school me didn’t understand the implications of the song. I just liked the beat and the rockin’ guitars. I was a big fan.
One evening, mom took us to JC Penney at Evansville’s Eastland Mall. We pulled into the parking lot as Pour Some Sugar On Me came on 96 STO. I begged her to wait until the song was over to turn off the van. I probably even asked her to turn it up. She obliged.
We stayed in the van and rocked out to a song that I really didn’t understand. Then we walked into JC Penney. After looking at some clothes and dilly-dallying around the store, it was time to leave.
And that’s when Mom realized she’d locked the keys in the van.
Because I had interrupted her regular routine of parking, turning off the van, and putting the keys in her purse, I threw her off. And she locked the van while the keys were still in there.
Remember, this was long before cell phones. So mom had to ask the cashier at JC Penney if she could borrow their phone. I’m pretty sure she called Dad and he came to rescue us with the spare set of keys.
Since then, I think of Mom and our lost keys every time I hear that song. And I fully expect to get misty-eyed whenever I hear Pour Some Sugar On Me now. Not because of the song itself, but because of the memory it evokes.
Sometime grief punches you in the gut.
Song #3: Push It by Salt ‘N’ Peppa
This is really more like an addendum to Song #2 and not a standalone memory.
This song came on when I pulled into our library’s parking lot today. I sat in my car and listened to it because I hadn’t heard it in a long time. I might’ve even turned it more than one would expect. The entire parking lot may or may not have had a mini Salt ‘N’ Peppa concert right then and there. I’m sure everyone else appreciated this pop up event.
So I stayed in my car until the song was over. I double-checked to make sure I had the keys with me. Because there’s no need to lock the keys in my car like we did when I made mom listen to all of Pour Some Sugar On Me way back in 1988.
And then I cried.
Because grief really does catch you by surprise sometimes. Even when you listen to a song that has nothing to do with your momma. Grief really is weird sometimes. So all of this is understandable.
Right?
Endnote
Photo used in the header of this post by Tobias Tullius on Unsplash
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