Reflections from a ‘90s church youth group kid

A few days ago, I was listening to a playlist I had put together on Spotify called “ ‘90s Christian.” It’s full of all kinds of CCM hits from my formative church youth group and college years.⁺ I may (or may not) have danced like no one was watching the last time I listened to it. You might, too, if you listened to it. Especially if you were a church youth group kid in the ‘90s.

But don’t just take my word for it. Feel free to listen for yourself. I should warn you, though. It’s a long list that currently has a runtime of about 4 1/2 hours.

These were influential songs in my life. There’s a good chance I threw one of these CDs in my car’s CD player (that I had installed by myself, thankyouverymuch). Or we played the songs at church youth group events. I might have put them on a mixtape and listened to it while on the 7 1/2 hour drive from Milligan to Evansville during breaks. My dc Talk Free at Last cassette tape literally wore out. I had played it over and over again until it broke. I quickly replaced it with a much more reliable CD.

A ‘90s church youth group kid of ‘90s church youth group kids

The Apostle Paul once referred to himself as the Pharisee of Pharisees. In that spirit, you could argue that I was the ‘90s church youth group kid of ‘90s church youth group kids. I carried my Bible to school and dutifully sat it on my desk, praying daily that someone would ask me why I did such a thing. I wore witness wear T-shirts to class, The Lord’s Gym shirt was probably my favorite Christian shirt. Well…it was my favorite until I got my autographed Audio Adrenaline “If you’re happy and you know it bang your head” olive green shirt. That was my favorite.*

A witness wear shirt almost got me in trouble at school once.

While my friends and I were walking down the hallway, one of our assistant principals glanced at me and my “Budwiseup” T-shirt. It was close enough to a Budweiser shirt that he stopped me and said, “Hey! You can’t wear that.” And he grabbed my shoulder and was about to escort me to his office.

This was my moment. I knew my rights. The Supreme Court had ruled that student-led prayer and student-organized Christian groups had a constitutional right to meet on school property. And I guess that right also extended to wearing Christian T-shirts that look like shirts? I’m not sure. The details are a little fuzzy now. They probably were back then, too. But I did know this: I was ready for this persecution. Satan, bite the dust.

“Read it again,” I told him. “It’s not what you think.”

So he read it again and then walked away. So, I guess I showed him?

On fire for Jesus

We wanted everyone to know about Jesus. OK. Sometimes we might’ve gone a little bit too far. I don’t know if they still do it or not, but in my day, people would cruise Green River Road on the weekend, hanging out in parking lots and stuff. After I got my driver’s license, some of my friends and I would drive up and down Green River and blare Audio Adrenaline’s “My God,” shouting stuff like “My God died on the cross – not at McDonald’s.” Hoping that would somehow convince people to come to Jesus.

Not the best evangelism strategy. It was probably misguided. At best. In case you didn’t know already, I had some pretty dumb teenage moments. It’s probably an act of God that I survived adolescence with all of my limbs attached..

But seriously, though. We loved Jesus and wanted other people to know him. Lyrics like these challenged us to keep pressing on:

Carry your candle, run to the darkness,
Seek out the lonely, the tired and worn.
Hold out your candle for all to see it,
Take your candle, and go light your world.

Yes, I'lI be the one
To answer to His call.
I will stand
When those around me fall.
I will be the one
To take His light
Into a darkened world.
I will be the one

We were ready. to shock the world. And we did.

Friends were coming to our church youth group. Our See You at the Pole prayer meetings were massive. Friends were getting baptized left and right. We were piercing the darkness because we were letting our light shine (making ’em wonder what we got, of course). We lived as children of the Burning Heart on a great adventure into a life like no other, and were tearing down walls because Jesus was still alright with us.

Our hearts were on fire. And that fire spread.

It was such a beautiful thing.

I believed what I was taught

During Summer in the Son, I heard stories about how Jesus was there for the outcast: the unpopular, the unloved, and the unlovely. Our youth minister taught us that, too. I heard it from the pulpit on Sunday mornings. Other adults showed us this, too. Jesus wasn’t just for the cool and popular folks. He was here for outsiders like me, too.

When I look at the Gospels, I can see that this lined up pretty well. Here’s a few examples I can think of off the top of my head:

• The woman at the well (John 4)
• Crooks and traitors like Zacchaeus (Luke 19)
• The woman caught in the act (John 8)
• The woman who lived a sinful life – probably a prostitute (Luke 7)
• The imprisoned (Matthew 25:36)
• Condemned criminals (Luke 23)

Children. Widows. Foreigners. Stinky fishermen. Dirty shepherds. If you didn’t fit in with the cool kids, Jesus fit in with you.me.

And I believed it. Every word of it.

God’s unexpected Kingdom

I remember learning about how the people of God cried out for a Deliverer. The prophets like Isaiah, Micah, and Zechariah promised that one day they would be set free and God’s Kingdom would be established once again.

During Christmas services, I heard messages about how the world groaned for the Messiah, but instead of the Promised One arriving in a palace in Jerusalem, he was born in a backwater town. Instead of heads of state celebrating his arrival, his birth was announced to lowly shepherds. The only religious experts who recognized the coming of the King of Kings was a bunch of foreigners from the East.

And the point of the message was that Jesus didn’t come like anyone expected. They expected an earthly king who would rule through the use of government. The Davidic monarchy was going to be restored and the people would overthrow their oppressive occupiers and the world would know that the King who sits on his throne in Jerusalem and that earthly kingdom would have no end. It would last forever.

And then I’d remember that the people couldn’t see what Messiah ought to be. Though his words contained the plan, they just could not understand…

The kingdom no one expected

I do not believe it was intentional, but I would kind of find myself chuckling at how silly those Ancient Near Easterners were. It was pretty clear in Scripture – right? Looking back, it was pretty obvious. The kingdom that Jesus came to establish had nothing to do with title, power, or wealth. It had everything to do with the heart and with how the people of God treat each other (and their enemies). The Ten Commandments were replaced with the Beatitudes. And like I said earlier, this upended everything. The last will be first, the meek will inherit the earth, don’t do just what you’re legally required to do – go the extra mile and turn the other cheek while you’re at it. Left was right. Up was down.

The reign of God is unlike anything anyone expected.

And I believed it. Every word of it.

A ‘90s church youth group kid – all grown up

So what is the point of this story? What am I trying to say?

As I mentioned at the beginning of this post…rant… diatribe… way-too-long-reflection-that-probably-should-have-been-a-series…or maybe even a book…I recently put together a Spotify playlist of songs that made me think of ‘90s church youth groups (and a few from my Milligan days, too). I included several songs that I hadn’t heard in decades. As I listened, the memories came flooding back. It was glorious. It has become one of my favorite Spotify playlists.

There’s one song that I included that gave me pause. Well…”pause” might not be strong enough of a word. You could say it stopped me dead in my tracks.

We've turned the page, for a new day has dawned 
We've re-arranged what is right and what's wrong 
Somehow we've drifted so far from the truth
That we can't get back home
Where are the virtues that once gave us light? 

Where are the morals that governed our lives? 
Someday we all will awake and look back just to find 
What we've lost.

We need to get back To the basics of life 
A heart that is pure And a love that is blind 
A faith that is fervently grounded in Christ 
The hope that endures for all times 
These are the basics, we need to get back 
To the basics of life

It reminded me of the culture wars that raged in the 90s as groups like the Moral Majority and the Christian Coalition and others sought to use political persuasion to put God back in America again. And I thought, “Whoa. Things haven’t changed that much. Have they?

I get unsolicited emails all the time from groups promising to “take back” America for God. I also get calls to rally at statehouses across the land. And then there have been churches hosting thinly-veiled political rallies in their sanctuaries with speakers who declare their political opponents as demonic. Other leaders have publicly said things like “The time for turning the other cheek is over.” Time and time again, I hear rhetoric come out of Christian leaders’ mouths that is anything but Christ-like.

Many have sought political means to bring God “back” to America. In the process, the tastes the stew of political power. And the stew filled their bellies. And they wanted more.

That’s right. I said a bowl of stew.

A tale of two brothers

The book of Genesis tells the troubled story of the family of Abraham. There’s betrayal, trickery, sibling rivalry, attempted murder…this story has enough drama in it to give any soap opera a run for its money.

To be frank, Abraham’s family was messed up. But there’s a glimmer of hope here when you realize how dysfunctional the Abrahamic lineage was. Because if God can use Abraham’s family, He can certainly use mine.

But I digress…

Anyway, Abraham’s twin grandsons, Jacob^~ and Esau, were about as opposite from each other as you could be – and they didn’t get along. Ever. They fought in their mother’s womb. They were literally born fighting. And it continued as they grew up. I’m sure it didn’t help that their parents had chosen sides. Each had their own favorite son. Isaac loved Esau, the firstborn, more. And Rebekah loved Jacob, the younger son (by a matter of seconds) more.

It’s one thing to get along better with one of your children. It’s quite another to openly and continually favor one child over the other. But what do you expect? Isaac watched Abraham exile Ishmael (Isaac’s older brother) into the wilderness.

I’m telling you, this family was messed up.

But again, I digress…

So Esau, the older twin, was out hunting one day and he was hungry when he came home. Jacob had been at home, cooking some kind of red stew, while his brother was out in the field..^O

“Give me some of that stew,” he demanded. “I’m STARVING!”

Was he really starving to the point of death? Probably not. You know how teenagers⁺ are. They’re always hungry.

Again, I digress…

Jacob saw an opening here. “Give me your birthright first,” he insisted. As the firstborn son, Esau had the right to their father’s inheritance, upon Isaac’s passing.

They probably went round and round about this, but in the end, Esau’s hunger was just too much.

He listened to his stomach and traded the riches he was destined to receive for a simple bowl of stew. It could have been the most amazing soup on the planet – worthy of awards around the globe…maybe even the best thing Jacob ever made – and it wouldn’t have mattered. Esau was still going to be hungry in a few hours. He sold his kingdom for a measly and temporary bowl of soup.

Can we agree that Esau was more than a little short-sighted?

You might think you see where I’m going with this. And you might be right. But don’t get ahead of me just yet. Because I’m just getting warmed up.

Food is important in the Kingdom of God

Jesus ate all the time. I’m serious. And he talked about food all the time.

Don’t believe me? Read the Gospel of Luke. Look at how many times he’s sharing a meal with people – sinners and outcasts, thieves and crooks, the powerful and religious elite…he ate with everyone.

He’s eating so much in the Gospel of Luke that we referred to him as “The 500 Pound Jesus” in the Life of Christ class that Dr. Matson taught at Milligan all those years ago..

And, of course, he refers to himself as the Bread of Life.

The early church continued Jesus’ emphasis on food, sharing fellowship meals, distributing food to widows, and, of course, sharing the Lord’s Supper together. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

There’s a lot of eating in the Kingdom of God.

A meal worthy of heaven

One of the worship songs we sang in the ’90s included the line that said “the wedding feast to come is now near at hand.” It was a firm reminder to keep things in perspective – an eternal perspective.

Because the Kingdom of God is like a wedding banquet – a celebration that goes on and on.

In the Gospel of Luke, chapter 14, Jesus is having dinner at a prominent religious leader’s house, when he reminds everyone that God’s Kingdom does not look like what you might expect for it to look like. Many were still thinking about an earthly kingdom, where the rich and powerful become richer and more powerful. He turns everything on its head and says, “Nah. My Kingdom is about the outcasts and discarded. The ones who are humbled will be exalted and those who are exalted will be humbled.”

It is within this context of explains how the last shall be first and the first shall be last that Jesus describes his new reign as a great wedding feast, where there is much celebration full of people you might not expect to find at this kind of elaborate table – the poor, the blind, and those who couldn’t walk.

You see this imagery again in the Revelation of Jesus Christ.^{^} In Revelation 19, the people of God are invited to a wedding feast. And there is much celebration in the presence of the Lamb. It’s a heavenly party unlike anything else.

And who’s invited to that party?

Well, the people Jesus came for. And Jesus makes it pretty clear who he came for. It’s not the rich, or the powerful, or the politically connected, or those who have it all together. He came to seek and save the lost – the poor, the blind, the unloved and unlovely. He came for the outcast.

That’s a kingdom unlike any we’ve ever seen.

The Kingdom for a bowl of stew

And the Church, as the Bride of Christ, is there in the midst. It’s a beautiful image, isn’t it? A big, big table with lots and lots of food – with room for even more guests.

Of course, Jesus gave us some parameters for this Kingdom. With his actions showed his followers what God’s Kingdom is all about. He also used words, too.

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength. And love your neighbor as yourself.”

Jesus (Mark 12:30-31)

“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

Jesus (Matthew 7:12)

I’m afraid that many in the Church have lost track of this, though. They’ve had a taste of the power that comes through political might and economic influence.

They’ve traded the eternal Wedding Feast for a measly temporary bowl of stew.

My pledge

I know of many people who have measured the American evangelical church with the ministry of Jesus and found the American evangelical church severely lacking. It has left them looking for their place in this world. And a lot chosen to walk away from the faith altogether. I get it. But I also disagree with it. So I’m taking a different path.

Now, you may see me as weak, but I just won’t live and die by this power they seek. I don’t see how it lines up with the invitation of Jesus. In fact, it feels like the exact opposite of what he preached and lived. It sounds a whole lot like those religious leaders we silently mocked during Christmas services when we talked about how they thought the Messiah was going to use the government to establish his earthly reign.

Don’t get me wrong. Politics has its place. But to what end? When seeking political power takes priority over loving our neighbors, living justly, loving mercy, and walking humbly, things are out of whack. To be blunt, it’s idolatry.

So we bend our knee to the gods of this world and their promises. All for a measly bowl of stew.

So I’m beginning a revolution of the body, mind, and soul. And I’m doubling down on the lyrics from another song from 4Him that I heard as a die-hard church youth group kid.

So I won't bend and I won't break
I won't water down my faith
I won't compromise in a world of desperation
What has been I cannot change
But for tomorrow and today
I must be a light for future generations

Do you want a revolution? This is where to start. Keep walking in the light, where He beckons us to go.

Let us pray.

---

endnotes

⁺Can we just take a moment and reflect upon the greatness that was ’90s CCM? Nothing will ever compare.

via GIPHY

*OK…maybe not of “all time.” My dc Talk “freak. ardent enthusiast” shirt from their 1996 Welcome to the Freak Show tour was probably more of a favorite. A quick internet search shows that you can actually buy a “freak.” shirt online. Because of course. You can buy everything online, can’t you? Anyway, I wore that shirt out much like I wore out my Free at Last cassette tape. There’s a long story about that concert, though. And I probably should tell it sometime. But that long story probably has something to do with why it was my favorite.

^~Anyone else sing songs from Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat whenever they hear a story about Jacob? Just me? OK, then.

via GIPHY

^oGrowing up, I always imagined that Esau had been hunting in the woods. But the text says it was an “open field.” You learn something new every day, I guess.

⁺According to the Talmud, Esau was 15 when this happened.

_^{^}A friendly reminder that this book is one revelation. It’s not a book of Revelations. Whenever someone references the book of Revelations (or the Revelation of John, for that matter), you should be skeptical. Revelation 1:1 is very specific. The book is “the revelation of Jesus Christ,” revealed to John. It might sound like I’m being overly-technical here, but when people make all kinds of wild logical leaps about this book but don’t even bother to read the very first sentence, there’s probably a problem with how they’re going to interpret it for you. Beware, friends.

---

songs referenced

• Happy and You Know It – Audio Adrenaline, Audio Adrenaline Live Bootleg (1995, but I’m pretty sure heard them sing this song live as early as ’91)
• Satan, Bite the Dust – Carman, Addicted to Jesus (1991)
• My God – Audio Adrenaline, audio adrenaline (1992)
• Go Light Your World – Kathy Troccoli, Sounds of Heaven (1995)
• Be the One – Al Denson, Be the One (1990)
• Shine – Newsboys, Going Public (1994)
• Children of the Burning Heart, Steven Curtis Chapman, Signs of Life (1996)
• Great Adventure – Steven Curtis Chapman, The Great Adventure (1992)
• Walls – DC Talk, Nu Thang (1990)
• Jesus is Just Alright – DC Talk, Free at Last (1992)
• El Shaddai – Amy Grant, Age to Age (1982)
• Two Sets of Jones‘ (sic) – Big Tent Revival, Big Tent Revival (1995)
• The Basics of Life – 4Him – The Basics of Life (1992)
• America Again – Carman – The Standard (1993)
• We Will Dance – David Ruis – Every Move I Make (Vineyard Voices – The Worship Leaders Series (1993)
• Big House – Audio Adrenaline – Don’t Censor Me (1995)
• The Pledge – DeGarmo & Key – The Pledge (1989)
• Place in This World – Michael W. Smith – Go West Young Man (1991)
• Jesus Freak – DC Talk – Jesus Freak (1995)
• While the Nations Rage – Rich Mullins – Never Picture Perfect (1989)
• Revolution – Audio Adrenaline – audio adrenaline (1992)
• For Future Generations – 4Him – The Ride (1994)
• Revolution – Kirk Franklin with The Family and God’s Property – The Nu Nation Project (1998)
• In the Light – Charlie Peacock – Love Life (1991)
• Beyond Belief – Petra – Beyond Belief (1990)
• Let Us Pray – Steven Curtis Chapman – Signs of Life (1996)