Missing Mom on her birthday
Today’s Mom’s birthday. I miss her like crazy. We all do. As we remember and reflect and continue to celebrate Mom today, I want to share what I said during her funeral. I’ve added a few additional thoughts in the endnotes.
Mom – in memoriam
I’ve sat at my computer for more than a week, trying to figure out what to say this morning. There’s only two people in this world who had the honor and privilege of calling Gayle “Mom.” And since I was her favorite – until 1979 when a certain baby brother was born (I had a good three year run as her favorite)* – I feel like I have a certain responsibility to share with you what kind of mom Gayle was.
Here are some things you probably already know about her:
- She was an artist. It was a gift. Growing up, I didn’t realize how much of a gift this was. I just kind of assumed every mom was a natural artist.
- She had a beautiful singing voice
- Some of my earliest memories are of her playing the piano at Bethany Baptist Church. I always thought she played pretty well.
- Could she cook? She didn’t necessarily think so. But she could sure make a mean meatloaf.
- She was kind, generous, thoughtful, and compassionate. And I’m sure Kevin and I tested these traits on a regular basis.
- An old marching band friend of ours said this about her: “Your Mom was THE Band Mom. She passed out hugs,smiles, snacks, support, and love to everyone. I’m glad I knew her.”
- She loved Jesus. And she loved others.
Surely none of this is a surprise to any of you. Mom was truly someone special and she touched the lives of so many people.
But what made her a special mom? There’s so much I could say, but one story keeps coming up as I’ve reflected on how great of a mom she was. I was in Kindergarten and Mom had just dropped me off at school. As I walked towards the school entrance, I suddenly felt this intense sense of loneliness come over me. I was paralyzed. And sad. It was unbearable. So I turned around and ran back to the car. Because mom was there.#
Mom was always there.
When I jumped through an overturned aquarium and sliced my knee open – Mom was there. When I needed a Halloween costume – Mom was there. And when we encountered unspeakable joy and unbearable heartbreak – Mom was there. I know there were times when it was difficult. Her body just made things tough. But she pushed through until her body wouldn’t let her anymore.
I can’t help but think of the words of the prophet Isaiah when I think of the struggles Mom had with a body that just wouldn’t work right:
“But those who wait on the LORD Shall renew their strength;
Isaiah 40:31
They shall mount up with wings like eagles.
They shall run and not be weary.
They shall walk and not faint.
Thank you for being there, Momma. Thank you for doing all you could do – even when things got tough. And hank you for loving us so fiercely.
Endnotes
*When I spoke at my grandma’s funeral, I introduced myself as “Carolyn’s firstborn cousin – also known as her favorite.” It’s unfortunate that I had to break the news to all of my cousins in this way. It was important, though, that they all finally know the truth. So I thought it was important for everyone to know that I was also Mom’s favorite…for a few years, anyway.
#There’s a few other times in my life when I felt this overwhelming sense of loneliness and uncertainty. The one other moment that sticks out in my mind more than any others was the day they dropped me off at Philmont Scout Ranch in 1995. We were in our hotel room, packing up to take the final leg of our journey to Cimarron, NM, and I felt a similar overwhelming sense of loneliness. I turned around and said to Mom and said, “Why am I doing this again?” I don’t remember what she said, but I do remember that she gave me a hug. Of course, that only could’ve happened if she was there. And she wasl
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