Our family’s indirect connection to Cameron Boyce
Celebrity deaths rarely make me cry. Don’t get me wrong. Every life is priceless in the sight of God. And I don’t wish anyone harm or anything like that. I feel sad when celebrities pass. But I’m usually not overwhelmed. I don’t have a deep personal connection with most celebrities. To put what I’m saying into perspective, even a part-time reader of this blog should know I’m a big Chewbacca fan. When Peter Mayhew passed away, I was pretty bummed out. But I didn’t really weep.
Thank you, Peter Mayhew, for breathing life into my favorite character of all time. I know "no one's ever really gone," but I have to say I'm pretty bummed today. You and your big heart will be missed. #RIPPeterMayhew https://t.co/phFO21XLjh pic.twitter.com/APRl6upnbk
— Matt ‼️STAY HOME‼️ Todd™ (@mattdantodd) May 3, 2019
Does this make any sense? I hope it does. Because I have to tell you that the news of Cameron Boyce’s passing has been a tremendous blow to our family. I never met Cameron Boyce. But he’s had a huge impact on me.
Representation matters
As a trans racial adoptive family, we’re used to seeing adoption portrayed in a negative light in TV shows and in movies. Don’t believe me? Just pay attention to how many times the adopted kid is the troublemaker (Loki, anyone?) or the butt of jokes. You’ll be shocked. I could go on about this. And others have. But that’s really not the point of this post.
Shortly after we brought Mihret home to be part of our family, Disney Channel began airing a new show: Jessie. It was a story about a nanny who cared for the Ross family. The Ross family was created through trans racial adoption. No, we didn’t have a nanny. Or a butler. And we didn’t live in a penthouse in New York City. But we saw ourselves in the show.
You know how they say that representation in popular culture matters? It’s true. Because we saw ourselves in Jessie, we didn’t feel like some “other” family. We felt…normalized. Yeah, we knew other families around the country who had similar adoption stories to ours. But it’s something entirely different when you can see a family not unlike yours on TV week after week.
https://www.instagram.com/p/Bz9wavbB81S/
Jessie helped us process our own family situation
A trans racial family treated like a normal family on TV? No use of “you’re not REALLY my brother” or any other cliche punchlines? Yes, please! We quickly became fans of the show. I wouldn’t be surprised if the producers and/or writers of the show had been touched by adoption at some point in their lives. It was all so…positive. I’m sure Jessie helped Aiden and Aly process this new world they had just been thrown into. And it probably helped me and Christy, too.
Cameron was part of the Ross family, playing the part of Luke. It sounds like the actors who played the Ross kids remained close after Jessie ended. There was something special there. Of course, now it’s incredibly heartbreaking. No one should be saying goodbye to their 20 year old friends like this. And no one should have to bury their 20 year old child.
A worrisome connection
You’ve probably heard by now that Cameron Boyce died in his sleep due to complications with epilepsy. I’m assuming this news strikes fear into every heart of a parent of a child who has epilepsy.
Mihret had a big seizure several years ago. It wasn’t her first. But it was certainly the biggest. It lasted forever. That was probably the scariest night of my life.
Mihret is in the ER. Had a seizure that lasted 20+ mins. Transferring to Riley soon. Please pray!
— Matt ‼️STAY HOME‼️ Todd™ (@mattdantodd) June 27, 2011
I don’t talk about it much online. There’s really not much of a reason. We haven’t really kept it a secret or anything. I guess I’m superstitious enough to think that if I don’t write about it, it won’t happen again. I know that’s silly. But it’s worked so far. I have no idea how close we were to losing her. And I don’t want to know, honestly. I was scared enough for three lifetimes that night. And it has had some long-term lingering effects.
You know how when you have a newborn baby and you wake up in the middle of the night and run to your baby’s bed to make sure your beloved child is still breathing in the middle of the night? No? Just me? OK, then. I used to do that with Aiden. I did it again with Aly. Some nights I would wake up in a panic, run over and put my hand on my baby’s back just to make sure I could feel them breathing. I found myself doing it a lot after Mihret came home from the hospital. Every once in a while, I still do it. Just to make sure she’s still breathing.
Seizures are no joke
It may seem silly and irrational, but there’s some reasoning behind it, even though I’m usually still in a stupor when I check on Mihret. Seizures are no joke. Some good friends of ours lost their son due to complications from a seizure not too long ago. And now this.
Cameron Boyce had a seizure in his sleep. Cameron Boyce died in his sleep. And It’s really not uncommon. Unfortunately. There’s this thing called SUDEP – Sudden Unexpected Death in Epilepsy. And it kills more people than Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.
That’s scary stuff.
I don’t know if Cameron Boyce’s epilepsy was under control or not. I don’t know if he and his doctors found the right medication or not. It’s really not any of my business. I do know, that the prospect of another major seizure – all these years later – strikes fear in the depths of this dad’s soul. And my heart breaks for Cameron Boyce’s family and friends who loved him so dearly.
Continuing Cameron Boyce’s legacy
I only found out about this after his passing, but Cameron Boyce had a passion for clean water. He had recently partnered with the Thirst Project and raised $30,000 to build two wells in Swaziland. That, in itself, is quite a legacy.
— Thirst Project (@thirstproject) July 9, 2019
But that’s where his legacy is just beginning. In the classiest of classy moves, Disney Channel has canceled the events surrounding the premiere of the Descendants 3. Cameron reprised his role as Carlos, the dog-fearing son of Cruella De Vil in the upcoming TV movie. Not only is Disney Channel dedicating the telecast of Descendants 3 to his honor, but they’re making a contribution to Thirst Project in his honor.
Classy stuff, Disney.
But it doesn’t stop there!
I just read that Adam Sandler just helped raise nearly $15,000 for Thirst Project. That’s a well. That’s clean drinking water for a community. I have seen first-hand how crucial clean running water is for a community. It’s life-changing. And that’s no hyperbole.
Life. changing.
While I weep for a young man I’d never met, my heart is also full with hope. Imagine the impact that could be made around the world if we continued to pursue his vision that was so dear to his heart: clean drinking water.
Goodbye, Cameron Boyce. Thank you for being part of our family, even though we never met you. And thank you for leaving something bigger than yourself.
Donate
I would be remiss if I talked about the good work if I didn’t point you to ways to help continue his legacy.
The Cameron Boyce Foundation was recently founded to honor Cameron’s legacy. The foundation young people artistic and creative outlets as alternatives to violence and negativity and uses resources and philanthropy for positive change in the world. You can donate here.
Thirst Project provides clean water around the world. Just $25 provides one person safe, clean drinking water for life. You can donate here.
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