Thinking Out Loud: 50 Thoughts for 50 Years Edition

When I turned the big 4-0, my dad sent me a very thoughtful card that included a note that encouraged me to take time to reflect on turning 40. Because I always did what my Dad told me,* I took his advice and looked back on 40 years. I even turned some of those thoughts into a blog post.

I know. I’m as shocked as you are that I used to write things on this-here blog.*

It was in the spirit of the “Thinking Out Loud” posts I’d written over the years. They were basically mind dumps that may (or may not) have centered around a specific topic. It was such an important moment of reflection that I think it’s time to do it again. Now, 10 years after that pivotal birthday, I’ve turned the page on another decade. And I think it’s only fitting to resurrect/reboot my Thinking Out Loud series for this monumental occasion.

So in the spirit of fellow Hoosier David Letterman’s Top Ten lists, I present to you, from the home office in Indianapolis, Indiana…

MattDanTodd’s 50 Thoughts for 50 Years 

(in no particular order)

{(OK…some of these are in a particular order…))

Cue music…

#50. The Indiana Hoosiers men’s basketball team went undefeated and won the NCAA national title just a few weeks after I was born. They’re the most recent men’s basketball team to run the table.

50 years later, the Indiana Hoosiers football team went undefeated and won the College Football Playoffs just a few weeks before my 50th birthday. By default, they’re the most-recent FBS team to go undefeated.

There are several wild facts in these statements. The most incredible is that the Indiana football Hoosiers are flippin’ champs! 

I should pinch myself to make sure I’m not dreaming. But I don’t wanna. Because if this was all just a wild dream, I’d rather not wake up.

#49. I’ve been getting injections in my eyes every two weeks for the last 2 ½ years. It’s not nearly as traumatic as it sounds, I promise. I’m on a first-name basis with the staff and the receptionist doesn’t have to ask for my name when I’m there to check in. 

I mean, it’s nice to go where everybody knows your name. I suspect most people would prefer this place not to be their doctor’s office.

#48. This was the happiest day I’ve had in a long, long, long time.

And believe me, I’ve had lot of incredibly happy days over the years. This one? Just the best.

#47. After generations of preaching cheap grace, horrible eschatology, and warped soteriology all wrapped up in the stars and stripes, many Evangelical churches have become the hypocrites Jesus condemned (c.f. “The Seven Woes”).

#46. Please stop quoting Romans 13 (out of context) if you spent three years saying “Let’s Go, Brandon!” all the time. Thank you for your attention to this matter.

#45. In our current political climate, almost every accusation is really a confession.

#44. I love taking Mihret to PopCon Indy every year. It’s so much fun watching everyone welcome and accept her. It really is a place where every fan finds their place.

#43. Around this time last year, I was pushing through the 90 Day Challenge to finally write a novel. 

The novel is currently going through a rewrite. I had initially said I hoped to have a finished product ready to share by Christmas 2026. That will probably need to be pushed back.

#42. I’ve come to figure out that the museums and monuments along the Mall in Washington, D.C., are some of my favorite places to visit.

#41. Watching a rocket launch in person is an amazing experience. 

Gonna have to do that again sometime.

#40. Still my favorite number.

Thanks for the memories, Calbert.

#39. I haven’t watched a State of the Union address since January 2002 – just a few short months after 9/11 I don’t intend on watching another one ever again – unless one of my close relatives somehow magically ascends to the presidency. Even then, the odds are iffy, at best.

#38. “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”

It’s a good adage attributed to everyone from Socrates to Robin Williams. There’s a similar one that says “Be kind, you never know what someone else is going through.”

Good thoughts, for sure.

I’d much rather we say something like “Be kind.” Full stop. Because your kindness really shouldn’t be incumbent upon someone else’s attitude.

Just. be. kind.

#37. Three albums that are absolutely perfect from beginning to end:

• A Liturgy, a Legacy, & a Ragamuffin Band by Rich Mullins – all of these songs are great on their own, but when you listen to the whole album in order, the depth of Rich’s creativity shines through.
• A Night at the Opera by Queen – I first listened to this album thanks to the Wayne’s World fueled resurgence of Bohemian Rapsody’s popularity. I didn’t know what I was missing. There are portions of the album where the transitions from one song to the next are seamless.
• American Pie by Don McLean – come for the title track, stay for the B-side. Especially the last two songs (of the original, not the 2003 reissue that has bonus tracks). Tear-jerking, powerful stuff.

Most albums have a song that you want to skip. Not these three. 

I’m sure there are other perfect albums. And you’re welcome to share them if you’d like.

#36. I could go on and on about our trip to Ireland. And rightfully so. We slept in a castle, saw the Cliffs of Insanity…I mean…Cliffs of Moher…without running into the Dread Pirate Roberts, toured a Jameson whiskey distillery, ate Guinness stew, and roamed the streets of Galway.

And that’s just scratching the surface.

#35. Liberal Arts education

#34. Thanks to Christy’s search for genealogical clues in Ireland, I’ve started digging into my family tree a little bit. As far as I can currently tell, I’m not distantly related to Mary Todd Lincoln. Assuming I’ve done the family history correctly, I am, however, a direct descendant of:

• Several veterans of the Revolutionary War
• A woman who was born in a castle in Scotland
• Veterans of the U.S. Civil War – both Union and Confederate
• A Lord Mayor of York

Oh, and George Washington could possibly be a distant cousin. My 9th-great grandfather could possibly be his grandfather, too. Assuming, of course, that I’ve been doing this Ancestry.com thing correctly.

#33. I’m sure it was never a financially tenable venture, but I kind of wish Thunder on the Ohio hydroplane races were still a thing.

#32. On my 16th birthday, I sat with my extended family at Roberts Stadium in Evansville, Indiana, as we witnessed history. Our collective alma mater^# won their first-ever boys basketball sectional championship.

#31. For one birthday (I think it was my 11th), we went to Casa Gallardo on Green River Road in Evansville (currently occupied by Hacienda). It was a big deal because they took me on a Sunday morning (we even skipped church!) for their brunch buffet (which I’m sure wasn’t cheap). They had an omelette station where the cook let me try my hand at flipping my omelette without any utensils.

I haven’t tried it again since then.

#30. As a kid, I thought it was cool that I kind-of-almost share a birthday with Jon Bon Jovi (his is March 2).

Guess I have to settle for sharing a birthday with the late Alan Thicke, Donovan Patton aka Joe from Blue’s Clues, and Mark-Paul Gosselaar aka Zack Morris from Saved by the Bell.

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Oh, and Justin Bieber.

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#29. Meet Alexander.

He’s quite possibly my 4th-great grandfather, born exactly 150 years before I was.

#28. Approximately 6 months before we started dating, Christy and I went to an amateur (or maybe it was semipro?) Appalachian region wrestling match deep, deep, deep in the hills of Tennessee.

It was kind of a quasi-double date, even though we weren’t dating yet. We did, however, go with friends who were on a date (I think it was their first date).

Amazingly enough, we haven’t been to any kind of wrestling match since then. I guess we missed out on a golden opportunity of making that our annual romantic tradition.

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#27. Can someone please tell me why in The Year of Our Lord 2026 is there no shot clock in Indiana high school basketball?

#26. Saying “I’m sorry if you were offended,” or “I’m sorry your feelings were hurt” is a lame, half-hearted apology that puts the blame on the other person.

#25. I was introduced to Walter Ong’s Orality and Literacy early in my Communication classes at Milligan. After I graduated, I didn’t hear a peep from anyone about Ong’s premise – until this past year. Now I keep hearing people talk about this book like it’s some kind of new revelation.

The book was written in 1982.

We discussed the book in the mid-1990s.

So does that make me some kind of Communication Hipster or something because I studied Ong before Ong was cool?

#24. Shortly after Lieutenant Saavik fails the Kobayashi Maru in Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, a grumpy Dr. McCoy lectures a grumpier Admiral Kirk about getting old.

Do you know how old Kirk is on his birthday in this scene?

52.

That’s it. Just fifty freakin’ two years old.

I love Star Trek and all, but if they’re really going to say that 52 is “OLD,” well, they can kiss my Wookiee toe.

Yeah, I crossed the streams.**

And yeah, I’m probably overreacting just a tad.

Sue me.

#23. More than 25 years ago, I heard a preacher say that leaders should grow thicker skin and softer hearts. I think that’s true for everyone, not just leaders.

#22. I’m wondering if the second year after you lose your parents is tougher than the first. I know they say not to make any major life decisions during that first year, but there were moments – like the weeks leading up to my birthday – when it feels even harder than it did last year.

Maybe it’s because there was still a lot of emotional numbness last year. Maybe some of it has to do with this being a milestone birthday. I don’t know.

I do know that I found myself opening the mailbox hoping to see a birthday card from my parents, even though I knew it would never come.

#21. The older I get, the more my body hates Daylight Saving Time.

#20. Dad was never a fan of watching The Wizard of Oz because when he watched it as a kid, the flying monkeys scared him. I never knew that when he watched it with us when we were kids.

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Sometimes being a parent means choosing to do things for your kids that you really don’t like doing.

#19. One of my Church History professors at Milligan wrote “You have a very nice prose style” on one of my papers. I took it as a compliment.

Of course, there’s always a chance he was trying to nicely tell me that I had no business writing academic papers. If that’s the case (I honestly doubt it), then I didn’t get the hint, since I wound up choosing to write even more academic papers in seminary.

#18. My grandpa (Dad’s dad) died when I was 13 years old. Shortly before extended family and friends gathered for the viewing,^~ Dad huddled together with me and my brother and said that while he always knew Grandpa loved him, he didn’t ever remember hearing him say it. This shouldn’t be seen as a criticism of Grandpa’s parenting style. It was just an observation.

Then he hugged us and said, “I love you guys.”

He must’ve taken that realization pretty seriously, because I don’t remember a moment when Dad didn’t say “I love you” out loud. It became second nature.

The most recent text Aiden sent me concluded with “Love ya.” So I guess some generational habits can be reprogrammed.

#17. I’ve heard there’s a stereotype that once you hit your midlife crisis, you either start digging deep in to World War II history or become experts at smoking meat.

Well, Christy bought me a smoker for Father’s Day last year. So I guess my midlife crisis path has been chosen for me.

Not that I’m complaining.

#16. I participated in a few ISSMA Solo & Ensemble District competitions during my high school music career. My Junior year, our large brass choir qualified for the State Solo & Ensemble. It happened to be the weekend before my birthday. So my family decided to make it a weekend birthday celebration in the big city of Indianapolis. They let me bring a friend along for the weekend. They asked me where I wanted to go while we were there. I chose The Children’s Museum of Indianapolis. So we celebrated my 17th birthday there.

That was the first birthday I celebrated at The Children’s Museum with family. But it wasn’t the last.

I brought my family to a Minecraft preview night, which happened to be on my 46th birthday.

Of course, I had to celebrate the big 5-0 with some of the museum’s icons, too.

#15. Aly has always had an artistic streak (c.f. this unicorn she drew nearly 15 years ago). She doesn’t always lean into it, but when she does, it’s amazing.

She drew this picture freehand and gave it to me for Christmas. It’s hanging in my office with pride.

Here’s the source material:

Amazing. Right?

#14. Whenever you’d ask Dad how he was doing, his go-to reply was, “Living the dream.” And he meant it. Even when he was sitting in an ER.

I’ve taken on that mantle. It’s a way to honor his legacy and remind myself to keep an eye on the positive things that are happening around me. So if you ask me how I’m doing, don’t be surprised if I tell you that I’m “Living the dream.” And I’ll mean it every time I say it.

#13. Dad never missed the opportunity to tell people that Todd means “Fox” or “Sly as a Fox.” I guess I’ve inherited that trait because I educate people about that fact all the time.

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#12. Pod Meets World is my guilty pleasure podcast. I’m also a big fan of Andy J. Pizza’s Creative Peptalk and Plain English with Derek Thompson. The Smithsonian’s Sidedoor podcast still reigns supreme, though.

Unless we’re counting THE MattDanToddcast Podcast. But that should be a given, right? A new season is coming soon, by the way!

#11. The climax of Edward Elgar’s Nimrod from Enigma Variations moves me to tears almost every time I listen to it.

#10. Gustav Holst’s Jupiter: The Bringer of Jollity from The Planets makes me dance in my seat every time I listen to it.

#9. In late 1998, rumors were flying across the interwebs that the new teaser trailer for The Phantom Menace was going to accompany specific films in the theaters. I, like everyone else, had already seen the trailer online. But this was the first new Star Wars film in 15 years. I had to see it on the big screen. One of the rumored films was The Siege. So I went to see it.

I was sorely disappointed that the prequel teaser was not included in The Siege‘s trailer package. But I stayed for the film anyway. Denzel Washington’s monologue in this scene has haunted me ever since.

Just a reminder: this film came out in 1998. Three years before 9/11.

#8. The advent of Large Language Model Artificial Intelligence really shouldn’t be a surprise. For better or worse, it’s not a far stretch to see it as the natural evolution of the algorithms we’ve come to rely upon daily. Look at how Google’s search function developed over time – relying on exact keywords ultimately led to the machine discerning search intent, which would naturally lead to the machine having conversations with the user.

On the surface, that all makes sense. And it isn’t a threat to humanity’s very existence, as long as it has been sufficiently created with immovable guardrails (c.f. Isaac Asimov’s Three Laws of Robotics). One could assume organizations like OpenAI, Google, and Anthropic would have a firm commitment to ensuring the proper use of AI. So one could assume that there is no short- or long-term threat.

After all, Google’s core principle is “Don’t be evil.”

Well, it used to be. Until 2018.

So even if all of these organizations have a current pledge to only use AI for the benefit of humanity, what’s going to stop them from changing their own rules anyway? And if someone in a rogue government wants to utilize that technology anyway, well…what’s stopping them?

Nothing, apparently.

We could have used Artificial Intelligence to usher in gilded age of peace and prosperity. Unfortunately, peace and prosperity have been sacrificed to the Almighty Dollar and wannabe despots.

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I used to think that the people who prophesied AI’s role in the fall of humanity were just being overdramatic doomsayers.

Now? I wonder how far off they really were.

#7. Senior portraits.

They’ve come a long way over the last 30+ years, eh?

#6. While I tend to have a bit of a cynical streak when it comes to some organizational structures and government entities (Dad used to say, “You’re too young to be so cynical.” He stopped saying that about 10 years ago, though), I am the eternal optimist when it comes to personal challenges and obstacles.

I say, “We’ll figure something out,” a lot. And I’ll mean it each and every time.

I’m pretty sure it drives Christy nuts.

#5. I was *thisclose* to being born on February 29. But it was a Sunday. And Mom’s doctor didn’t like going to the hospital on Sundays.

#4. Shortly before Mom died, her medical team reached the conclusion that she had contracted polio sometime during her lifetime. Most likely as a child. This explains a lot of the medical complications she had throughout her life.

So you’ll excuse me when I have visceral reactions to pseudo medical influencer wannabes spouting off about how the world would be better off without the polio vaccine.

#3. My absolute earliest memory I have is pretty fuzzy. I’m standing in someone’s foyer, talking to someone on the phone about moving back to my parents’ hometown.

My next memory is burned into my soul. It’s standing at the big Nursery window at a hospital, looking at my new baby brother.

#2. When Dad turned 50, he threw himself a party, of sorts. He bought dinner for a bunch of family and friends at a local steakhouse. He even gave some kind of speech.

In the days leading up to my 50th, I started to wonder if I should have planned a similar get-together. I even secretly kicked myself for not thinking about it ahead of time.

But Christy had her own plans and had a small surprise family gathering at the Rathskeller on Mass. Ave in Indy.

She’s just the best.

#1. Love God. Love others. Follow Jesus.

That’s still the whole of my theology. It’s that simple. But we’ve made it incredibly complicated.

endnotes

* Please tell me you picked up on that sarcasm.

*Again, I hope you picked upon my sarcasm.

Because I’m laying it on pretty thick.

^#Yes, I went to the same high school Dad, his brothers, and sister attended. Even had some of the same teachers.

**And that’s bad. Very bad. Like, total protonic reversal bad.

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^~Viewing…calling…wake…different regions and traditions call it different things, but you know what I mean – right? The gathering that happens before the funeral.