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With my Samsung Galaxy S4 from Walmart Family Mobile, I have been able to keep track of my players’ stats and catch up-to-the-minute status updates about players who are uncertain to play on any given Thursday, Sunday, or Monday. It’s amazing how many things you are announced right before kickoff. Fortunately, I’ve been able to avoid a couple of bad starts because of my improved access to player news and information. All that being said, I’ve fallen into a very familiar pattern and it’s time to break out of it.
It seems like my fantasy football success, or lack thereof, follows a pattern almost every year. It’s so efficient that you can set your calendar by it.
I usually lose my first game. It’s usually a blowout. Then I rattle off a string of two or three wins followed by two or three losses. By the middle of the season, I’m usually hovering around .500.
Although I haven’t done it the last few seasons for some unknown reason, I used to make an announcement on the league message boards at the mid point of the season. And maybe that’s why I haven’t had very many good seasons in the recent past. I’ve forgotten to make The Announcement. Well, the time has come.
But before that, I need to give a brief update on the wheeling and dealing that has happened in the front office of my fantasy football team. In honor of a world-class Ethiopian runner, the team has been named the Baby Faced Destroyers and has called Addis Ababa its home. Due to his injury earlier this year, a certain star wide receiver out of our hometown team is out for the season. In honor of his contributions to the hometown team and my fantasy team, the ownership (read: me, myself, and I) of the Baby Faced Destroyers decided relocate the team under cover of night and bring them to the Midwest. They also took on a new name: Wedgie Wayne’s World.
With a new home, new name, new colors, and a new logo, ownership decided it was also time to give the players a new look. The team was not heading in the right direction so it was time for some mid-season shaking up. And thanks to finally having a phone and wireless plan that that could give me real-time access to the most up to date player news, I’m feeling confident about the new look of my fantasy football team.
And it’s about time, too. After this weekend, I’ll be sitting at 4-5 after a horrible losing skid. So now is the time. Management agrees that with the new identity and new look of my fantasy football team, it’s time to make The Announcement to all of my fantasy football opponents…
Fear the Blue W!!
I’ve spotted y’all enough losses, so now I have you right where I want you. No more Mr. Nice Guy and no more losses. You heard of rope-a-dope? Well that’s what I just did to you. There might’ve been a little bit of possum playing, too. I’ve sufficiently lulled everyone into a false sense of security so it’s time to run the table! NO MERCY!!
Hey, it’s worked before. It’s not uncommon for me to go on a nice little winning streak after making The Announcement. At this point, I’ll do whatever I can to qualify for the top tier of the playoffs. If making The Announcement does the trick, then I’m OK with that.
And even if I don’t win, it’ll be fun to use my Galaxy S4 to follow Wedgie Wayne’s World’s exploits in the coming weeks thanks to Walmart Family Mobile. Because I’ve discovered that in the world of phones, once you go smart, there’s no going back.
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